“Who’s the Mommy around here?” is typically what Mommy says when me’s tongue is flapping in the wind aka “bossy.”  (Sorry about the sexist adjective.)  While giving Mommy the side eye, me pinpoints what to do, shows a better or easier way to shop-coupon, or intercepts phone calls on Mommy’s behalf. (You are probably wondering who is writing this!  Just keep reading.)

But I admit, sometimes I can be a little overboard with telling Mommy how to wash the dishes (She always leaves dried egg on the corners of the pan!), telling the race car driver [who me] to slow down, or to consult with an XYZ expert instead of me. [Those are not the only things!]

 During my time home after college, I spent a lot of endless time with my mom allowing me to better appreciate her feelings, wishes, and limits. (Surprise, surprise.  Mommy has limits??!!) So, even if she never uttered a sound, I would somehow give her just what she was wanting.  Simple random “I am feeling you” touches of love.  After a busy day, the aroma of a succulent crockpot meal welcomed her.  Always, she called and said “You fixed dinner! Thank you! I was wondering what we were going to eat!”  Other times when I’m trying to ease too much, it’s “Just calm down.  That’s the next thing on my list. Geez, “who’s the Mommy around here?”  

Fast forwarding to today, after my Dad had a setback with his Parkinsonism, I’ve been spending extra time at home. A fire hydrant of activity starts when our feet hit the floor every morning.  Swamped with doctor appointments, physical therapy sessions, taking meds every 3 hours, working, meetings, laundry, our days are very fractured.  It’s been a time-consuming and stressful time for my mom and family.  Experiencing this, any decision I can make for her, I do.  I get groceries, make meals, help make or talk through medical decisions, coordinate my time home with their schedules, clean the house, and listen to the same conversation ten times [no wonder the side eye] if that’s how many times she needs to talk through something. 

Anything I can do to make their lives easier, I do.  Why?  Because I adoringly love my parents.  I remember the time I was moving out of state and I didn’t want to bother them, but they pulled up just in time to join in the move.  Or the time I was going to China in 15 hours and they packed up my entire apartment.  They have always been there for me, why would I not for them?  For me, it’s that simple.

In the end, it’s not about “Who’s the Mommy?” or even “Who’s the boss?”  Sure, some leadership comes from a title, but the majority of leaders are not CEOs/C-suite executives, presidents, or even managers.  People who sense a need and take action are leaders.   At its core, “Who’s the Mommy around here” is about stepping up to help anyone without their needing to ask.  Got overwhelmed moms, dads, family, colleagues in your life?   Ask them, “How can I help?” “What on your plate can I handle for you?”  Or even better, identify the need and get busy. Taking initiative and offering your assistance can completely change that person’s day, or hey, even a life.

-Mommy and Me

Who’s the Mommy in your relationship? When was the last time you took initiative to help someone at home or work? Share your story in the comments!